You’ve just moved to the Netherlands for love and are ready to live out your Dutch fairytale. But what do you need to know when embarking upon your new life here?

It’s happened. You’ve fallen in love with a Dutchie, and in this blissful cloud of happiness and gezelligheid fueled by promises of bikes, canals, tulips, and windmills, you’ve taken the plunge and moved to Oranje.

Congratulations! Welcome to the Netherlands! Everything is great here — you’ll absolutely love it.

Wait, not so fast. Now, what’s this? You don’t speak the language properly, you can’t ride a bike, and you aren’t sure that you enjoy the concept of constantly eating fried foods.

But don’t despair, fellow international, I’ve been there. Here’s what I would tell myself if arriving in the Netherlands for love now.

Be proactive in making friends

Things get lonely when you move to a new country, and this happens faster than you think — not that anyone tells you that!

For the first few months, you’ll be drowning in the excitement of being abroad and living in this magical land, but if the only people you are interacting with on a daily basis are your partner and your dog, you may start to go stir-crazy.

READ MORE | 19 ways to actually make friends as an expat in the Netherlands

Plus, as much as the Dutch can be very welcoming, it can take a while to pierce their tight social circles, especially if you live in a small town like mine.

So, if you aren’t working or studying in the Netherlands yet, why not join a local sports team or take a Dutch (or some other) class that fills your free time with something that interests you?

You’ll meet local people, get the giggles practising your (pitiful) Dutch, and hopefully find someone who will be happy to listen to you butcher their language. And in that case…

Get used to being social

If you are a miserable sod (and British) like me, you’ll want to avoid other people as soon as they cross your path. But you can’t really do that here in Nederland. People talk to each other… they like each other! Weird, right?!

READ MORE | 14 signs you have successfully been Dutchified

But have no fear. Soon you’ll be hallo-ing and hoi-ing with the best of them, socialising with your neighbours and navigating those Dutch circle parties like a native. It just may take a while.

Bask in the small charms of Dutch life

Learn to cycle and take the bike everywhere; it’s so much more gezellig than walking. Travel to new cities and enjoy the fact that everything is so close together. Marvel at the windmills and endless bodies of water.

Get excited when you see that man walking his dog wearing clogs or the man shopping in the supermarket who was wearing them too. Yes, I have seen this. It really happens.

Don’t be offended when the Dutch say how they feel

As a Brit, I am used to tutting quietly and exhibiting passive-aggressive behaviour whenever another member of the human race pisses me off, but the Dutch are different. They will call you out about your mistake.

READ MORE | Dutch directness: 5 questions you’ll get in the Netherlands (and how to answer them)

It took me a while to get used to this, as I am quite sensitive and used to being overly polite in social situations due to years of indoctrination living in the UK.

Once you start to understand the Dutch language, however, you’ll realise that this is not personal and just how they speak to one another. It is quite liberating, to be honest.

Buy a fryer

This will become a staple item in your kitchen. All the Dutchies have one.

Soon you will be serving bitterballen at every social occasion, and eating fries, frikandellen, and kroketten with the best of them. Trust me, this is one purchase you won’t regret if you need to break into your fried food reserves in an emergency.

Moving to the Netherlands for love is a beautiful thing, but you shouldn’t forget to take care of yourself. Put yourself out there, bask in the quirky culture, and take it one step at a time.

Oh, and don’t forget that it’s okay to lean on your partner. After all, you made a big sacrifice when you moved here for them.

Do you have any tips for moving to the Netherlands for love? Tell us in the comments below!

Being from the land of cheese, clogs, and windmills, the Dutch definitely have their stranger sides. Whether it relates to food or dating, who better to uncover them (apart from us, obviously) than an American expat TikTokker? 

Originally hailing from the United States, Claudio moved to Utrecht a few years ago.

His TikTok videos about life in the lowlands as an American have gone viral — attracting over 241K followers and 6.1 million likes. 

Whether he talks about the incomprehensible Dutch love of sandwiches for lunch, the struggles of finding true love, or just the dozens of different words the Dutch use for rain, nothing escapes his attention.

The weird Dutch language

Learning Dutch is not an easy task, as any international who moved to the Netherlands would know.

However, Claudio appears to have picked up the language fairly well and even makes educational Tik Toks to help his viewers expand their vocabulary.

The Dutch dating scene…

Have you been going out with a Dutch person for months and the word “relationship” has not once passed their lips?

Helaas pindakaas (literally “unfortunately peanut butter”) for you — but maybe you just haven’t got past the scharrel and prela.

If you have no idea what those mean (honestly, we don’t blame you), keep watching.

…can have weirdly vague expressions…

Dating a Dutchie can be quite the experience, especially considering their brutal honesty and stinginess that could put Ebeneezer Scrooge to shame.

Why they then have such a euphemistic expression for cheating is beyond our understanding.

…and being an expat can be an advantage

Fortunately for Claudio (and unfortunately for the Dutch girls he dates), he is very well integrated into Dutch society.

He can navigate the difficult waters of Dutch dating fairly easily — thanks to the advice of his friends Kees and Jan Pieter.

Claudio is not the first international to talk about things Dutchies don’t say or take some of their weird habits to TikTok.

However, we’re pretty sure his stuff will give you a good laugh!

What Dutch quirks have you come across as an international in the Netherlands? Tell us in the comments below!

Meeting your partner’s parents can be nerve-racking at the best of times. However, meeting them in a foreign country where you don’t know the language and local customs is a whole other ball game. 

As an international, you might feel nervous about meeting your significant other’s Dutch parents. What will you say to them? Will you be able to communicate? Will they like you?

If you’re feeling a little lost and unsure, we’ve been there: so we gathered some tips to help you prepare!

The practicalities of meeting your Dutch partner’s parents

Introductions can be a bit overwhelming, especially when it concerns the (potential) love of your life. Here are the main things we think you should be prepared for: 

How to nail the Dutch greeting

First things first, the greeting. If your partner’s parents lurch forward and try to plant a kiss on your cheek upon arrival, never fear — this is a normal part of Dutch culture.

In the Netherlands, people typically greet each other with three kisses on the cheek (left-right-left). If you don’t get a kiss, you can expect a firm handshake.

Should you bring a gift?

A gesture is appreciated but isn’t mandatory. If you’d like to bring something, flowers, chocolates, or biscuits are always a good bet.

If you’re holding the meet-up in your own home make sure to provide everything — unlike in some cultures, it’s not a custom to bring a dish, dessert, or wine to lunch or dinner at someone’s house.

That’s not to say it never happens, but play on the safe side and don’t assume. 

What should you call your Dutch partner’s parents?

In most cases, Dutch people are quite casual. Therefore, you can expect to be addressing them by their first names pretty quickly. 

Married or not, the Dutch regularly refer to their partner’s parents as their “in-laws” — weird right? So your mother-in-law is your schoonmoeder, and your father-in-law is schoonvader.

To make things weirder, the Dutch translations are literally “clean-mother” (schoonmoeder) and “clean-father” (schoonvader).

What will you talk about with your Dutch parents-in-law?

You can be sure that your partner’s parents will be curious about their child’s international partner.

Dutch people are known for being pretty open-minded and tolerant, so if you’re concerned about your cultural background, it’s probably not necessary.

When you sit down for your meal or refreshments, prepare to be bombarded with questions: Where are you from? How long have you been in the Netherlands? What brought you here? What do your parents do? Have you learnt any Dutch yet?

At first, the conversation might be a bit laboured. But as you each become more comfortable with each other, you’ll find common ground and be chatting away in no time.

READ MORE | Dating in the Netherlands: 6 things about dating the Dutch

As an international, being able to communicate effectively with your partner’s parents and family is a great incentive and reward for learning Dutch.

Speaking the language will also help you to feel more comfortable and integrated into the family, especially if you’re in it for the long term.

At the very least, you’ll all have something to laugh about when the family inevitably asks you to demonstrate what you’ve learnt so far at the dinner table.

There’s also a strong chance that your partner’s mom will offer you her kid’s old storybooks to help you practice your Dutch — Jip en Janneke here we come!

What to expect when meeting your new Dutch in-laws

The Dutch are very family-oriented. If you’re in a relationship with a Dutchie, you’re likely to spend quite a lot of time with their parents, and will probably be obliged to attend many family events — so you better get comfortable.

Truth be told, meeting your Dutchie’s parents may not all be smooth-sailing.

We’ve heard some horror stories of people struggling with cultural differences, awkward small talk, and being forced to eat food that they’re not comfortable with — like boterhammen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

READ MORE | Dating a Dutchman! 13 reasons why it’s a good choice

Nevertheless, we hear far more stories of great kindness and hospitality.

Besides, in all likelihood, you’ll get to see cute and/or embarrassing child and baby photos of your partner — and who doesn’t love that?

Overall, it’s good for both you and your partner’s parents to get to know each other and learn about your different cultures.

Our best advice is to be open-minded and make the most of the experience. And remember — your partner’s Dutch parents might just be nervous too!

If all goes well, they’ll be your schoonfamilie in no time. 

What was your experience of meeting your Dutch partner’s parents? Tell us in the comments below!

You’re an international living in the Netherlands, and you’ve just said yes to a date with a Dutchie. Then, the nerves start kicking in, and you begin to overthink: How do I behave? What should I say? What will I wear? 

It’s no secret that the land of love can be tough to navigate in this tiny country — and as an international, cultural differences could end up crashing your date.

While it might seem like you’re entering the depths of a very unknown and mysterious place (the Dutch dating scene), there’s no need to fret.

We asked our readers to share their dating experiences and compiled a list of 15 things you might just encounter on your upcoming Dutchified date:

1. They’ll send a Tikkie afterwards

Ah, nothing screams romance quite like sending a Tikkie after a first date — excuse us, what?

Picture this: you go out for a gezellige meal on the town, you have a great time, they pay the bill, and you go home. Sounds like your typical date, right?

READ MORE | 6 things to know about dating Dutch people

A few hours later, you’re surprised to discover that you’ve already received a message from your date. The text? “Please could you pay me €20 for the meal?” with a payment link included. Yup, you’ve just been Tikkie-ed. 

Now we all know the Dutch can be thrifty, to say the least, but it’s safe to say they take financial responsibility a little too seriously sometimes.

2. They’ll open their own door

To open or to not open the door? It’s a question pondered by many when on a date. Well, you can save yourself the hassle this time because the Dutch will just open their own door!

The Dutch are zonder meer (without a doubt) modern thinkers, and being treated as an equal is very important to them.

So, even though opening the door for your date is definitely a polite gesture, it’s not at all dating etiquette for the Dutch and is actually frowned upon! 

3. They’ll typically eat foods close to their homeland

Now, the Dutch aren’t fussy eaters, and they’re gluttonous when it comes to their beloved Dutch foods.

You can expect to grease it up on your date with a typical Dutch starter of classic mustard-dipped bitterballen and a side of wooden toothpicks.

As for the main course, well, let’s just say the probability of some sort of deep-fried fish making its way to the table is…incredibly high. Oh, and don’t forget the boiled potatoes, carrots, and peas.

4. They won’t beat around the bush

This list wouldn’t be complete without mentioning the elephant in the room: Dutch directness. If there’s one thing the Dutch are famed for, it’s their lovely “tell it how it is” mentality.

You certainly won’t find your Dutch date biting their tongue and shying away from saying what’s on their mind.

READ MORE | The complete guide to Dutch pick-up lines, compliments and date phrases

Don’t want to know about the piece of spinach stuck between your two front teeth? Helaas, pindakaas. 

They’re no fans of sugar-coating, and they won’t hold back if they can revel in a good opinion-fueled debate.

5. They’ll teach you how to say “neuken in de keuken”

The Dutch love their expressions and will litter their conversations with them any chance they get. 

You’re definitely set to have a good laugh with your date as they try and get you to pronounce some comical Dutch phrases, like kippenvel hebben, which translates to “having chicken skin” but actually means to get goosebumps.

However, to save you from extreme embarrassment, when they tell you that the Dutch phrase, neuken in de keuken, means “hello” in English, it does NOT — far from it, in fact. (Look it up with caution!)

6. They’ll talk a lot about travel plans

Note to internationals: if you want to impress your date, talk about travelling! 

The Dutch love a gezellige vacation abroad almost as much as they love their bicycles — and if you’re well-versed in the ways of travelling, then you’ve already got a foot in the door with your Dutch date!

7. They’ll ask a truckload of (very) personal questions

An important tip to remember: your date might just start talking to you like they’ve known you for years. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing — it certainly makes for a more intimate setting!

However, if your date follows up the conversation about their love of travelling with, “when was the last time you had sex?” or “do you believe in God?”, they’ve gotta pump the breaks.

In all likelihood, you’re not mentally prepared to delve into personal (and hella awkward) topics when you haven’t even decided on an appetiser.

8. They’ll gossip about family members

It’s no secret that the Dutch are one for traditions. For many of them, having family by their side is an essential part of life. 

Knowing this, you can imagine that sharing some treasured family stories on the date comes as a part of the package deal.

READ MORE | This American TikToker is sharing hella accurate truths about dating in the Netherlands (and more!)

Even so, you might experience the conversation take a rather unsuspecting turn: Say, a one-eighty from enthusiastically talking about the adventures of their tantes (aunts) and ooms (uncles) to dishing on some serious family drama? Nou, leuk.  

9. They’ll plan the date weeks in advance

Yes, the Dutch love their holy agenda, this much is true. From family barbecues to nights out with friends, they tend to plan everything weeks (even months) in advance. 

So, it wouldn’t be unusual if your date whips out their calendar and asks you way in advance which day and time would be best to pencil you in. 

You might have to wait a few weeks to actually go on the date, but if you really think about it, it’s certainly a flattering thought knowing that you’re worthy of their holy agenda.

10. They’ll be five minutes early to the date

Since the Dutch are devotees of a good agenda, you can also expect that their punctuality is very much on point.

You definitely won’t have to worry about missing your dinner reservations. For the Dutch, it’s fashionable to show up on time or even early for an occasion as special as a date.

11. They’ll keep the date-setting casual

There’s no chapter on fine dining in the book of Dutch dating. 

If you’ve ever heard clichés about the Dutch, then you’ve likely come across the one about their laid-back culture. Let’s just say they have a rather laissez-faire attitude towards things. 

READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #90: Go through a ridiculous number of dating stages before committing

What does this mean for your date? Well, you can expect to be romanced at a bar with a pint of beer and some bitterballen while watching a football game rather than dining out in some fancy restaurant.

12. They’ll wear casual clothing

Now that you have a more vivid mental image of where your date will likely take place, you can also imagine that the date’s unofficial dress code would be something along casual lines.

READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #59: Wear way less make-up than people in other countries

The Dutch rarely overdress and prefer to keep it simple. With that being said, expect your date to show up in a pair of jeans and your standard tee.

13. They’ll share tea bags with you

A good rule of thumb to up the romance factor on your date is to share things! This can be anything from a milkshake with two straws to appeltaart with two forks, or… tea bags?!

Yep. Come time for dessert, many Dutchies often indulge in a good cup of tea. But unlike the Brits, this normally means hot water poured into a transparent mug with a tea bag that gets dunked about 10 to 50 times and then gets reused.

READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #20: Be overwhelmingly stingy

Since the Dutch love to go halfsies on the bill, you can foresee that your tea bag will be shared with your date as well. Echt schattig!

14. They’ll bring you home… on the back of their bike

Your Dutch date might not open the door for you, but chivalry isn’t dead just yet! You can enjoy a leuk ride home with them, but it might require a teensy adjustment period if you’re used to the lavish car lifestyle.

You’re in bicycle country, remember? So, expect your date to whisk you away on the back of their bike rather than a white horse. The shiny armour — and bike helmet — are optional.

15. It’ll probably be a date with rain

Best known for its erratic weather, the Netherlands often experiences all four seasons in a single day. 

Unless the weather gods are on your side, you can expect a good stretch of rain on your date — and even though it’s unlikely that they’ll pay for your meal, you might just find them holding an umbrella over your head.

Ready for your Dutch date? Don’t overthink it; just have fun! Success!

Do you agree or disagree with these Dutch dating observations? Tell us in the comments below!

Whether or not you’ve heard the phrase “going Dutch”, you probably instantly understand what this means. The Dutch are notoriously known for keeping tabs on every cent, and not shying away from sending you a Tikkie for last week’s borrel. Here’s why you should think twice before doing that this Valentine’s day. 

I had been living in the Netherlands for over three years when I first heard it. By that time, I had already experienced myself — and heard many stories about it — that dreaded moment at the end of dinner when the waiter comes with the bill.

What do the man and woman in the Netherlands expect from each other then? Is splitting the bill always acceptable?

Maybe it’s a cultural thing?

In many cultures, splitting the bill is not common practice at all, at least not for me, or many others coming from abroad to live in the Netherlands, or historically the majority of the Anglo-Saxon world from where the “going Dutch” phrase originally stemmed.

But why is this practice so ingrained in Dutch culture?

Coming from a country where everyone always insists (and almost fights) to foot the entire bill as a token of appreciation for the good time they have had, Dutch frugality was a bit of a shock for me. There are plenty of valid reasons to be conscious about how you spend your money, and the Dutch have mastered this with the invention of the Tikkie.

Dutchies see paying their own bill as something natural; it’s a part of their ego and a show of the independence they pride themselves so much on. Unfortunately, this attitude ended up bleeding into a situation where I think it simply doesn’t belong — dating.

READ MORE | 15 things to expect on a date with a Dutchie

Dating is no time to be frugal because it is all about good impressions. That is why I support the good old way that men should be taking over the bill. It might be a Sisyphean task to explain why I find the Dutch way ineffective, but it might have something to do with making men lazy, and women, well, underappreciated.

Clichés that are ruining dating

If you have read this far and you still fail to see why you can’t just split the bill with your date, you might well be supporting one of the following clichés (which I think are ruining the dating scene):

Cliché 1

“Women today have a job and are independent. They don’t need a man to pay for everything while dating.”

Interesting, but here’s a 2024 spin on that: “Women today don’t need to prove that they have a job and are independent. They are entitled to prefer men that take the initiative.”

Cliché 2

“Many women will only date a guy who is rich, with high social status and will expect him to pay for everything.”

Maybe. And so, what? Many men will only date women who are good-looking. It’s a trade-off of qualities, and definitely not wrong if it’s made clear and both people are okay with it from the get-go.

Women are hard-wired to look for a stable partner who can contribute to a possible new family. Men, on the other hand, are instinctively attracted to healthy-looking women.

The point is, if you are using that cliché to shame women with different priorities than yours, it’s time to stop.

Cliché 3

“Being a gentleman and paying for dinner doesn’t impress the women of today.”

Yes, it does. It especially does today, when it’s rare to find a guy who knows how to treat a woman he likes.

It’s not all about the money; it’s the gesture behind paying the bill that counts. It’s a show of appreciation and understanding of the effort that their date put into herself to look her best on that day with you. And, to an extent is a way of showing your financial stability, which is always impressive.

Why you wouldn’t go Dutch as a woman

If you are a woman in the Netherlands and it’s usual for you to suggest splitting the bill, ask yourself why you do that. Does it help fulfill your sense of independence, do you think it will impress him, or do you just feel awkward accepting him paying for the whole dinner?

Have you considered that you could be just perpetuating this new “norm” to fit into Dutch culture?

It’s normal for humans to want to belong, and we even go a long way to conform to what is generally accepted in society. But sometimes, it’s worth questioning whether these ideals serve their original purpose anymore.

Women who openly express a desire to be only with financially stable men are looked down upon. Debunking clichés that are meant to put shame on some women is a crucial part of establishing new norms of behaviour.

If you are like me, going Dutch on a date just wouldn’t send the right message. The law of attraction states that the feelings and desires you project, attract the same back at you.

It is best to be focused on what kind of relationship you want and, ultimately, what kind of man you wish to attract. First dates are a way of establishing how you want to be treated right from the start.

Why not go Dutch if you are a man

Simply because €34 will not make you any richer. You might argue that those dinners and drinks out add up, and if it weren’t for them, you could be driving that new scooter now. Possibly, but your new scooter will not impress her. Consistent and thoughtful gestures will.

To avoid surprises, carefully choose the place yourself according to your budget, so you don’t have to monitor her order, or, even worse, veto a meal or drink.

BONUS: What to do if she insists on paying:

Show her this article. If she just offers to pay: say no. Especially if you like her, do not accept. I would never offer that, but some women like to test the grounds.

Okay, but what if the date goes wrong?

It happens… a lot.

If you are a woman and you are having a horrible time, that would be a situation where paying your own part makes sense. You don’t want any gestures; you just want to leave. Understandable.

If you are a guy and your date goes wrong, be a class act, follow the advice above and eventually leave. Ghost if you need to. But really, do not send a Tikkie.

Will you be going Dutch this Valentine’s Day? Tell us in the comments below! 

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the editorial position of DutchReview.

Moving to another country can be challenging, and without a significant other by your side, loneliness can creep in.

But before you turn to dating apps, here are six things to know about dating in the Netherlands — specifically, about dating the Dutch! Take it from someone with experience.

Dating in the Netherlands: what’s the deal?

Windmills, tulips, and cheese. The Netherlands is known for many things but what about the Dutch women and men? What do they do, where do they live, what are they like? Most importantly, how do you go about dating one of them?

READ MORE | 9 steps to flirting in Dutch (yes, that’s possible)

If you’re hoping to find a tender soulmate to come along and sweep you off your feet, then I have some bad news: the Dutch may not be the right fit. Welcome to the land of sensibility and realistically romantic folk.

1. Honesty is the way to go

This one goes for both Dutch men and women: honesty is their policy. Don’t worry if you have something stuck between your teeth after dinner, your date will tell you.

This may come as a shock at first, but once you get used to it, you quickly realize — hey! This is actually better! Who would want to walk around the whole night without anyone mentioning the lipstick on your teeth, right?

READ MORE | Dutch Quirk 42: Be overwhelmingly direct and never beat around the bush

The Dutch believe that it’s better to be honest than to mislead someone or create high expectations. Instead, they put their cards openly on the table so that you don’t have to assume anything.

So, no mind-games, no drama, no fuss! Any doubt? Just ask!

2. Keeping things casual

Dutch people are casual! If you expect to go to a fancy restaurant on a first date, well, things may not turn out the way you want. Nothing beats the gezellig atmosphere of a traditional Dutch bruin café where you can enjoy a pint and some bitterballen.

Plus, it is just too much work to try to bike with your high heels and itty bitty dress, and who wants to slowly suffocate because of that stupid tie? Lekker rustig, you got this.

3. Dutch flirting and romance

Time is valuable for anyone! As we’ve mentioned before, Dutchies are always pro-honesty, and that affects their flirting style as well.

That’s why Dutch women and men find it a waste of time to sugar-coat things and shower people with half-fake compliments. So, don’t get discouraged just because your date isn’t complimenting your every trait.

The same goes for romantic gestures. Gifts? Instead of popular ideas like a luxurious box of chocolates, you might get something you would use and enjoy more.

READ MORE | 4 things I wish I knew before moving to the Netherlands for love

In the end, everyone can get those cliché gifts, but that Kindle they just got for you? That shows that not only does your Dutchie care for you but also listens to what you say and knows what you like!

4. Marriage, mortgage, and kids in the Netherlands

Okay, this is where things get a little tricky. We’re all familiar with the traditional way things go once you’re in a relationship.

If you think you’ve found the right person, who you genuinely like spending time with, first you go steady, then after a couple of years, one of you pops the question. Then comes the marriage, a mortgage, and a kid or two — or so the media says.

When it comes to the Netherlands and dating, things go a little differently. They’ve decided to skip all that. Marriage is seen as a serious commitment by many and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

So you meet someone? Great. Is the relationship going well? Then let’s move in together and maybe buy a house! Cool. What’s next? How about becoming parents?

READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #90: go through a ridiculous number of dating stages before committing

I once had a friend of mine saying, “First comes the house, then a pet, then a kid, and then the marriage. I’m not going to marry someone without making sure that we can spend the rest of our lives together. What if he is a bad father?”

5. Taboo who?

It’s not uncommon to hear some heavy-hitting questions like, “Do you believe in God?” and “When was the last time you had sex?” when you’re first talking to a Dutch person.

Surprised? We can only imagine. Freedom and individuality are encouraged in the Netherlands. Your Dutchie is likely to be someone who isn’t afraid to tackle the trickiest subjects pretty early on in the relationship, if not on the very first date.

The reason? They want to know your opinion on these subjects to evaluate if you two are compatible with each other. That actually makes sense, right?

READ MORE | The complete guide to Dutch pick-up lines, compliments and date phrases

Moreover, they will give their opinion, whether you want to hear it or not. What the rest of the world considers as potentially rude or too blunt, the Dutch call it being open and honest.

6. Like saving money? So do the Dutch!

The Dutch are known for being cheap—ahem, we mean frugal—and this is often seen as something negative, but why?

READ MORE | 14 downright stingy things Dutch people do

If your Dutchie knows where the best deals are and doesn’t want to pay extra for something that can be found for less, who says that’s ever a bad thing?

Of course, not every Dutch person you date is a cliché

Just like you wouldn’t describe yourself as a typical (insert your home country’s nationality), the same goes for the Dutch as well.

Apart from some common traits that we can mention with humour, it’s better to keep in mind that your Dutchie is just as unique as you!

So, sit back, relax and veel succes (good luck) in dating a Dutchie!

READ MORE | Amsterdate, Amsterdamn! Dating in the Netherlands is not a piece of stroopwafel

Got a crush on a Dutchie but don’t know how to ask them out? To make sure your romantic endeavours are a success in the Netherlands, here are some tips to help get you speaking the same language:

What’s your experience with dating in the Netherlands? Tell us in the comments below!

It’s Valentine’s Day in the Netherlands, you’re dating a Dutchie, and not sure what to do or to gift them? If you’re thinking “nothing, or maybe a card,” then you may not be too far off!

If Valentine’s Day isn’t your favourite day ever, you’re not the only one: The Dutch are not the biggest fans of Valentine’s Day either.

Since numbers don’t lie, we can tell you that only one out of five Dutchies celebrates this day, while 90% of them consider it to be just commercial nonsense — an obligation rather than a celebration.

So yes, you could say that there’s some truth to the stereotype that the Dutch are not heel romantic.

How can you surprise your partner on Valentine’s Day in the Netherlands?

Of course, we understand if you want to prepare a V-day little surprise for your schatje (darling) in the Netherlands.

That’s why, as someone who has been dating a lovely Dutchman for many years, I’m bringing you a selection of tried and tested things you can do to make the day of love a little more special.

Keep it cliché (and cheap)

Let’s say you are dating one of those Dutchies that actually enjoy the celebration of love on Valentine’s Day. You don’t want to do anything too major, but you also don’t want it off your radar completely.

What are you supposed to get? What are you supposed to do?

We believe that even the tiniest bit of thought makes a gift memorable — so why not learn some Dutch pick-up lines to reignite that spark with your loved one?

If you’d rather stick with the classics, then the Netherlands is the right place to do so: Approximately 57% of Dutch people offer cards to their partner on Valentine’s Day (if your lover gets you a card, relax, it’s just how they do it here!).

You’d also still be a great Valentine if you go for chocolates or wine, but your gift should stay around €15 euros, as that’s the average that the Dutch spend on Valentine’s Day.

But who knows, you might be part of the lucky 2% who get presents worth more than that!

Say it with flowers

Second to a card and chocolates? Flowers. Flowers from the market, flowers from the store, even the flower shop itself — they’re all flowers, and they’re all yours.

However, where the French or the English might give their Valentine red roses, the Dutch are more into mixed bouquets, keeping it classy and colourful, and tweaking your expectations.

If you’re a florist, then this day is when you rake in all that sweet money. The number of pre-orders for flowers is enormous leading up to V-day.

According to Royal FloraHolland, they sell many more flowers in the early weeks of February than any other time of the year. Money jumps from 80 million euros to a whopping 125 million euros in flower sales across the Netherlands.

Valentine’s Day activities in the Netherlands

If you want to do something a little special for V-day, there are a few things you could do.

For something a little extra, take a trip to the Dutch seaside, like Scheveningen, where we’ve compiled a whole list of activities that you could plan for your valentine. You could also try going out for an outdoor activity or a day trip, depending on your city.

As the true foodies we are, rest assured we have plenty of food suggestions for you here at DutchReview. And even if you’re in the mood for something a little low-key, you can opt for some home-cooking — maybe even go for a Dutch meal?

If you are planning on going to the restaurant, it’s crucial to think ahead and make reservations. The Dutch might not spend the most on presents, but they sure enjoy a nice dinner date.

The only thing you should absolutely not do on Valentine’s Day, is to send your date a Tikkie for whatever activity you end up doing (but we’re sure you already knew that!).

READ MORE | Opinion: why you shouldn’t “go Dutch” this Valentine’s Day

Finding love in the Netherlands

If you’re still on the lookout for your dreamy Dutch Valentine, fear not — there are plenty of ways that you can find love in the Netherlands.

READ MORE | Finding love in the Netherlands: 5 ways to meet your very own ‘schatje’

In the meantime, let’s not underestimate self-care and treating yo-self to a nice solo V-day-date, instead of someone else.

What are your plans this Valentine’s Day? Will you be celebrating at all? Tell us in the comments below! 

The Netherlands has amazing perks (a healthy work-life balance, good public transportation, yummy fried snacks, anyone?), but making friends as an international? That can be tricky.

Whether you’ve just moved to the Netherlands or you’ve been living here for some time, making a local friend isn’t always easy. But het komt wel goed (it will be alright), here are some tips and tricks to make it easier to socialise with Dutchies and break into their circle.

1. Step out of the international bubble 

If you’re planning to stay in the Netherlands long term, it’s worth the effort to step out of the international comfort zone and invest in local friendships. 

Talk to your Dutch classmates and colleagues, and attend Dutch events. Welcome them into your bubble, and they might let you into theirs — or heck, you might create a whole new bubble of your own! 

2. Join Dutch social clubs

Looking for something to do on a weekly basis? While it may be tempting to join solely international social clubs, try to opt for one that is more local. 

There are many websites out there that offer social clubs, such as Meetup or Expat Centre — just make sure to sign up for those that welcome Dutch people too!

3. Embrace Dutch directness

Have you ever met a local who says something that sounds like an insult? Dutch bluntness can throw you off. 

But that’s just Dutch people being, well, Dutch. If you can’t beat them, join them! Ask how their divorce is going, tell them their hair looks weird today — get direct, then at least you’re on the same level.

READ MORE | We asked readers about their experiences with the infamous Dutch directness 

And hey, they might even decide that this international noob is worth being friends with.

4. Learn some Nederlands

There is nothing worse than when you’re with a group of Dutch people, and you can’t join the conversation due to the language barrier. 

READ MORE | The top 16 free ways to learn Dutch

You don’t have to become fluent in Dutch (it’s a hard language to master, we know), but just understanding the basics can get you far. By simply saying hoi or hoe gaat het (how are you), you’re proving to the Dutch that you’re trying — and you want to be friends. 

5. Know the Dutch rules of body contact

 Dutch people are known to be inviting and open-minded — but showing affection? Not so much. The first rule of body contact: do not hug.

Be mindful of this guideline. While hugging is a nice way to be greeted by someone, you might lose some bonus points if you hug your potential Dutch friend. 

Instead, either ask them if you can hug them or go for the common, less intense three-kiss policy to avoid any disaster.

6. Invite your Dutch friend for a coffee

Have you made acquaintances with a Dutch person and want to get to know each other better? Go to a café together for some lekker koffie!  

After all, Dutchies love their coffee. According to recent statistics from the International Coffee Organization (ICO), the Dutch are among the world’s 20 biggest coffee drinkers, ranking in 5th place, and drinking up to four cups of coffee per day. 

A warm cappuccino? That’s sure to draw a Dutchie or two in. 

7. Become the ultimate planner            

Forget being spontaneous and meeting a Dutch friend last minute or arriving at a friend’s house unannounced. 

The Dutch value their spare time and like to create a well-structured and balanced life, which means checking their agenda before they confirm meeting up. 

Time to join in with this Dutch custom and whip out a planner of your own, trust us, they’ll appreciate it.

*Making plans with friends*

My Dutch Friends: “Earliest I am available should be 1/15/2038 from 6 to 7:15 because my sister’s aunt’s neighbor invited me over from 7:30 onwards”

My American Friends: “How about in 10 minutes?”#dutch #american #culture #international

— Kevin Miao (@KJHMiao) November 26, 2022

8. Be open-minded — the Dutch love to debate!

One of the biggest turn-offs for a Dutch person? Having a small and narrow mind. The Dutch love to debate and are always up for a good discussion, from politics to the news. 

The Dutch believe in expressing your own opinion as long as you’re respectful of theirs. So, don’t be afraid to join in these debates and make some enemies — which can turn into friends as a result. 

9. Join a sports club 

Put yourself out there by joining a Dutch sports club or association.

The Netherlands has about 25,000 sports clubs spread across the country, ranging from yoga to running, cycling, fitness, and even fierljeppen. 

READ MORE | 15 international sports you can easily play in the Netherlands

Joining a sport is a great way to meet some Dutchies and put your Nederlands to practice. There’s no better way to forge some strong friendships than by sharing some blood, sweat, passion, and tears.

10. Be shameless and just start talking! 

At the end of the day, you’re just going to have to be confident and strike up a conversation with a Dutchie — in Dutch. Oee echt eng!  

The more you practice, the less scary it will be. Talk to people around you: your local barista, your neighbour, that person you regularly see at the gym. 

Don’t know what to talk about? Maybe just complain about the weather; it’s always a popular topic of conversation.

11. Attend those borrels after work 

One of the best opportunities to make a Dutch friend is by attending the after-work borrels, also known as vrijmibo (Friday afternoon drinks.)

Those borrel evenings with colleagues are very important when it comes to getting to know and forging friendships with your co-workers. 

So, make the effort and get to know your colleagues in a non-working environment. Less stress, more drinks, more friends.

12. Be positive about their country

Nobody likes it when a foreigner says negative things about the country they’re living in, and the Dutch are no exception. 

Instead of going, “you know what the Netherlands could improve on?” or “I hate the way…” try communicating what you like about living here (hint: great social benefits, advanced healthcare, vibrant nightlife, mouthwatering restaurants).

READ MORE | 7 reasons why living in the Netherlands will change your life

Flattery is certainly an easy way to friendship. 

13. Ask a Dutchie to come over to your place

What better way to get to know your new Dutch friend than in the cosiness of your own home? Invite them over for an afternoon tea or a home-cooked meal. If the Dutch love anything, it’s being gezellig.

By showing the Dutch your warm hospitality and the willingness to make an effort, how could they not want to be your friend? You know you’ve made it when they invite you over to their place in return!

14. Approach them — don’t expect them to reach out first

Don’t wait around until you’re approached by a Dutchie, or else you’ll be waiting for a long time. The Dutch are not known to be conversation-starters. Instead, don’t be afraid to make the first move! 

Found someone that you want to get to know better? Don’t implement the three-day rule (that’s sooo 2000s). Text them and ask if they would be free to meet up for a drink or lunch! 

The worst thing that can happen is they simply don’t reply, or they decline — you have nothing to lose here.

15. Join a taal café

Want to practice Dutch and meet a friend as a result? Try joining a taal café (language café). Important to keep in mind: you need to have a language level of at least A1.

A language café is not like actual Dutch lessons. Instead, you simply talk to each other in Dutch while sipping a cup of coffee or tea. Check out Meetup or libraries in your area to sign up!

16. Pay for the next round 

When Dutch people are together in a group, it’s normal to take turns paying for the next round of drinks. Just because you’re an international doesn’t mean that you don’t have to tag along in this custom.

Show your Dutch spirit of hospitality by paying for the next round of beer. 

17. Be a true Dutchie!

Show you want to fully integrate into Dutch culture by trying traditional Dutch things! 

Invite your new Dutch friend to tag along with you and let them show you what the Netherlands has to offer — celebrate King’s Day, share your Hello Fresh subscription, be brave and join the Nieuwjaarsduik (New Year’s Dive), or get dressed up for Carnival!

18. Start dating a Dutch person

If you ask us, one of the easiest and quickest ways to make Dutch friends is by dating a Dutch person. 

Then you can just steal your partner’s friends, and gradually become their favourite, no big effort involved!  

READ MORE | 15 things to expect on a date with a Dutchie

All kidding aside, your partner will be introducing you to his/her friends, so it’s the perfect opportunity to embark on some new Nederlandse friendships. 

19. Cycle together

It might sound a little cliché but Dutchies cycle every day, why not join in, make some friends, and get in some exercise as well? Cycle to work or an event with a Dutchie. 

Want to take it to the next level and take a biking tour? After a long day of biking, you need a place to relax, and that is where Vrienden op de Fiets comes in handy. The hosts offer their home for a night, and you never know, you may make a friend for life.

READ MORE | Friends on the Bike: what is it, and how does it work?

20. Embrace common interests

Make a friend while pursuing a hobby. Whether it’s a language course, comedy night, cooking classes, volunteer work in the community centre, or just tangling up some balls of wool in an attempt to make a scarf, these events will surely make you socialise with like-minded Dutchies.

Sites such as We are what we do or Airbnb Experiences can help you get that foot in the door for social networking with locals. 

21. Stay positive — it’s not easy, but it’s possible

Making a local friend starts by integrating with the Dutch — and that’s not going to happen overnight. However, over time, it will. So geen stress (no stress) if you’re one year in and don’t have a Dutch friend yet. 

The best thing about Dutch people? They’re incredibly loyal friends  — once you’re in, you’re in! 

Remember — Rome wasn’t built in a day. And neither are new friendships. Keep putting yourself out there, and we are confident a Dutch person will value your effort. 

What is your experience in making Dutch friends as an international? Tell us in the comments below!

Making friends in the Netherlands as an expat can be truly difficult. So, first of all, big kudos to you for being here.

But meeting new people can be hard at the best of times, and doing so in a country known for its directness is even harder. 

I’ve spent years living in the Netherlands, both studying and working, and I’ve seen it all: loneliness, making friends, and having a great friend group.

That’s why I’m bringing you the best tried and tested ways to make friends in the Netherlands, including tactics used by us at DutchReview, passed on by previous internationals, and told to us by our readers!

Whether you’re hoping to make friends with Dutchies or other internationals, here are the top tips for finding friends in the Netherlands. 

1. Join a sports club

There’s nothing that gets people together like seeing each other sweat. Seriously!

It might seem weird, but there’s just something about physical exercise that loosens people up and lubricates the conversation. 

READ MORE | 6 outdoor sports to try this summer in the Netherlands

Additionally, if you join a club that’s focused on a specific sport, say rowing or salsa, you’re sure to at least have an interest in that sport in common — a.k.a. ready-made conversation topics.

Plus, Dutchies tend to be pretty sporty, so it’s an excellent way to mingle with both internationals and locals.

2. Use Meetup to make new connections

If you have a specific interest that you’d like to continue in the Netherlands (or if you want to discover something new!), you can find a group to do it with on Meetup.

Some Meetup groups are also just for hanging out with new people and making friends — no hobby needed!

There are already hundreds of Meetup groups in the Netherlands, so you’re almost sure to find something in your area. Alternatively, you can create your own group and let other people come to you!

3. Find events near you on Facebook

While many of us may not use Facebook as our main social media or be huge fans of good old Zuck knowing which events we go to, it’s a very handy platform for meeting new people and making friends when arriving in a new city.

READ MORE | These are some of the best Facebook Groups for internationals in major Dutch cities

Many social events, from poetry and spoken word hangouts to openings of trendy new clubs, will be shared on Facebook so you can get an easy glance at what’s happening in your area. 

4. Take the initiative and create your own club!

If you aren’t a fan of big events or just want to get to know a few people with similar interests as you, why not make your own club? Sure, it may sound a little middle-school-project-ish, but people admire it when someone takes the initiative!

Creating your own club is a great way to put yourself out there and show people what you like doing. 

If you’re nervous about potentially spending a whole afternoon or evening with strangers, don’t overthink it!

Having something to do together, whether it’s knitting, hiking, or attempting to make fancy cocktails, makes the conversation flow much easier than if you just invite people over for coffee. (Especially with the latter option ).

5. Take hobby classes

Are you the type of person who would’ve dragged your best friend to a flower-binding workshop or barista course back home?

While we know it’s not the same without having someone to giggle with over your lacking latté art skills, there’s no reason why you can’t go to hobby classes alone!

READ MORE | The best extra-curricular groups for expats in Amsterdam 

In fact, it’s an experience that’ll likely boost your sense of independence and confidence. Plus, it’s a great place to meet new people who may not be in the same social circles as you. 

6. Join a group for internationals in your area

One of the great things about being an international in the Netherlands is that there are plenty of internationals in the same boat as you, especially if you live in the Randstad region!

Every year, people move to the Netherlands for their studies or work and — luckily for you — they all need to make friends. 

With so many people in the same lonely boat, that means there are tons of groups and networks for internationals scattered across the country. Some groups are general and welcome all, and some are for a specific nationality.

7. Take Dutch classes

A great way to kill two birds with one stone is to take Dutch classes. That way, you’ll meet other internationals who are either new to the country or have decided to integrate further, plus, you’ll learn the Dutch language. Leuk!

FIND A | Dutch Language School

Taking Dutch classes is a great way to make friends because you and the other students are all struggling through the five stages of learning Dutch together.

Seriously, nothing can be as bonding as seeing each other try, fail, giggle, grow, and finally master the guttural Dutch ‘g’-sound!

8. Get to know your colleagues

Before venturing out of your immediate social circle, why not draw on the network you already have? We asked DutchReviewers on our Instagram, and many said their first friends in the Netherlands came from work! 

This will be easier if you work in one of the many companies in the Netherlands that hire internationals, but you can also make friends with Dutchies — even if you don’t speak Dutch at work.

To break the ice, you could always try to pull off a few Dutch workplace idioms!

9. Plan ahead (and buy an agenda)

After you’ve made the initial introductions, whether at the office or out and about, you’ll need to find a time to meet and hang out.

That’s where the Dutch agenda comes in. Since Dutchies are notorious for having plans lined up months ahead, you shouldn’t count on arranging a last-minute gathering. 

So, even if it feels unnatural to you, make sure you find a date well in advance (even if it’s just going for a cup of coffee!).

Planning a coffee date or a movie night weeks in advance is very typical in the Netherlands, so you’ll get used to the planning mania that is Dutch life pretty fast. 

10. Be direct 

Hand in hand with the last tip, and especially if you’re trying to get to know some Dutch folks, be direct. Cut the fluff and just tell your potential friend you’d like to know them better — after all, everyone likes compliments. 

And, if you struggle with the Dutch directness, just ask yourself whether you’d rather have friends who are honest and to the point or who sugarcoat. If you’d vote for the former, you’ll love having Dutchies as friends.

11. Ask for an introduction 

Rolling with the Dutch directness, don’t be scared to ask people for introductions!

If you keep hearing about this one person who just sounds like your friend-made-in-heaven, ask people who know them if they can work some magic.

Simply say that you’d love to meet the person they’re talking about and tell them why you think you have something in common.

The mutual connection will likely let you know if they think it’s a terrible idea, and, if not, you might have yourself a new friend!

12. Use Bumble BFF

A tip from our readers is to use Bumble BFF. Perhaps you know Bumble as the dating app that lets women make the first move — but they also have a version for making new friends in your area.

Similar to the dating version of the app, you complete your profile by uploading pictures, interests, and indicating what you’re looking for (e.g. a travel buddy, workout partner, fellow coffee addict, or crazy cat lady — the possibilities are endless!).

Then, it’s ready, set, swipe, and soon you’ll hopefully have met new people with similar interests as you in the Netherlands! 

13. Looking to make friends as a couple? Download Party of 4!

Have you moved to the Netherlands for love and are now looking to meet people outside your partner’s friend circle? Or do you simply want to organise some fantastic double dates? 

Developed by a fellow international, the Party of 4 app is a must-download for any couple in the Netherlands.

It’ll help you find couples in your area in the same phase of life as you and your partner and who enjoy similar activities. Create a bio, set your filters, and start swiping — your new best friends could be just around the corner. 

14. Head along to a borrel

Borrelen is typically described as the Dutch art of going for a drink with co-workers, but you can also borrel with friends or any social gathering.  

It’s the Dutch way of winding down after a long day, eating some deep-fried snacks (which, honestly, are pretty delicious), and bonding over a few beers or glasses of wine. 

And while you can’t always join a random borrel, you should certainly accept when invited by your colleagues or Dutch acquaintances! 

15. Join a study association

Although studying in the Netherlands means that you’ll have a network of peers, you don’t necessarily click with the person sitting next to you in the lecture hall or find someone to talk to during the rush to the coffee machine during the break.

So, if you’re new to the Netherlands as an international student, we’d highly recommend joining a study association.

Study associations in the Netherlands are connected to your degree and organise academic and social events. Essentially they’re a great way to hang out with the people you’ve seen every week but may not have talked to yet. 

16. Become a member of a student association 

Not to be confused with study associations, student associations are a big deal in Dutch culture.

They encompass everything from the big sororities and fraternities you see on American TV (but are waaaaay different) to just very active clubs of all sorts.

They can be a bit of a culture shock but potentially a great way to integrate and get the authentic Dutch student experience. 

READ MORE | Dutch sororities and fraternities: yep, they exist (and are ‘echt’ bizarre)

Though many student associations in the Netherlands only accept Dutch-speaking members, some do welcome internationals. If you join, you’ll get to dress up fancy, drink lots of beer, and join sub-committees that spark your interest. 

Usually, they have open-door parties or events at the start of the academic year, so you can always drop in and see if it’s something for you.  

17. Join Girl Gone International (GGI)

This one is for the ladies out there. Girl Gone International is a global community for women who travel and work abroad.

Along with a solid online presence, GGI has local communities worldwide for you to meet up with like-minded women. Their motto is “Friends make our world go around!” and as corny as that sounds, they are a forward-thinking, inclusive, and passionate community.

There are chapters in every major Dutch city, and if yours isn’t on the list, you can volunteer with GGI to open a new community in your area.

18. Find a volunteer opportunity

Just like you can volunteer with GGI, there are tons of other organisations that’d love for you to help them out. 

Since people aren’t in it for the cash, volunteering in the Netherlands is a reliable way to make friends because you get to work with people who are passionate about the same thing as you. 

Additionally, a volunteer position is usually more chill than a regular job, giving you more time to chat with your colleagues and — since you’re all there for a reason — you won’t have to search long for something to talk about!

In our experience, people who volunteer also tend to be kind-hearted and easy to talk to.

Plus, the Netherlands is home to stacks of international organisations and local initiatives that look for volunteers, so you can take your pick.  

19. Use online communities like Discord or Reddit

Lastly, for the introverts out there, there is quite a strong presence of people living in the Netherlands on platforms such as Discord and Reddit.

Online communities are a perfect way to make new friends on days when you don’t feel like changing out of your PJs or if you want to lay the groundwork for your Dutch life before moving to the Netherlands.

The benefit of online communities is that you aren’t reliant on connecting with someone living in your area. Perhaps you’ll become friends with people in different places and can even organise a physical hangout one day — road trip, whoo!  

The ability to join a subreddit or Discord also means that you can find people who share similar, and perhaps niche, interests.

So, there you have it! 19 ways to actually make friends as an international in the Netherlands that’ll make your stay (whether temporary or indefinite) so much more fun.

What are your best tips for making friends in the Netherlands? Tell us in the comments below!

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published in May 2022, and was fully updated in January 2023 for your reading pleasure.

Sex in the Netherlands is no taboo subject, as anyone who has taken a stroll through the De Wallen district of Amsterdam finds out.

But what are Dutch attitudes towards sex? How are they educated in schools? And what’s up with the red-light districts? How low do the lowlanders drop it (and is it hot)?

Time to find out in our (un)official, but still kind of scientific, guide to sex in the Netherlands.

Sex education in Dutch schools

Sex is, unfortunately, a taboo in many cultures. In their direct, no-nonsense way, the Dutch have adopted an arguably better method than most to educate their citizens about sex.

Sex education in the Netherlands starts at the ripe old age of four, during kindergarten.

The Dutch believe that sex is a natural element of life, therefore avoiding the issues that many other cultures struggle with. Open conversations on the matter are encouraged in the Netherlands.

Dutch children are taught about sex in an arguably holistic manner. They learn about the need for respect towards their partner while also learning about the more technical aspects of sex life.

A wide range of topics are covered in Dutch sex ed. From gender identity to boys being encouraged to embrace their feelings. Girls also learn how to make their own choices about sexuality and not give in to societal expectations or peer pressure.

READ MORE | How men can step up against sexual misconduct in the Netherlands

Few topics are left unearthed. Lessons include topics such as oral sex and masturbation, which for many other cultures, are topics which can barely be discussed in public.

Teen pregnancy is low in the Netherlands

The success of Dutch sex education is reflected in their low teen pregnancy rates. While the United States, for example, has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the developed world, the Dutch rate of pregnancy is a staggering four times lower.

Another important aspect of their education is learning about consent. Dutch people learn that sex is something to be done in the context of a relationship based on trust and love.

Condoms are easily accessible in stores and at vending machines in schools, while the contraceptive pill is free for any woman under 21 years.

READ MORE | The ultimate guide to gynaecology, birth control, and check-ups in the Netherlands

And it works! Sexually transmitted diseases are much lower than in the Netherlands than in the United Kingdom or the United States. 

The Dutch model of sex education can, therefore, be considered a great example of how to deal with the topic. While it might not be applicable everywhere due to cultural barriers, it can still serve as an inspiring example for other nations.

Sex in the Netherlands: when do Dutch people have their first sexual experiences?

Given their open approach to sex education, a glimpse into the start of young Dutchies’ sex life should yield interesting results.

A 2012 study on sexual activity conducted by Rutgers found that in the age range between 19-24, over 70% of Dutch men and 77% of Dutch women are sexually active.

READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #90: Go through a ridiculous number of dating stages before committing

Furthermore, the study notes that French kissing is the first type of sexual contact that people have, with 50% of young people around the age of 14 experiencing it.

By 16, half of teenagers have experienced manual stimulation of the genitals, and by 17, half of them have experienced oral sex.

Another study reveals that 64% of Dutch men and women feel confident in asserting their needs and desires and are open towards discussing sex. This is likely a result of the openness of their educational system with regard to sex.

Sex in the Netherlands: how do the Dutch score in bed? (according to themselves)

A Europe-wide survey on sex conducted by YouGov in 2013 looked at how different nationalities self-evaluate their love-making skills.

The Dutch appear to think highly of their bedroom etiquette, coming in second in Europe alongside Austrians. The first place was taken by the Swiss.

Interestingly, the same survey has shown that the Dutch are the least likely to:

• Be unfaithful (15%)
• Photograph or film themselves during sex (7%)
• Have a one-night stand (23%)
• Send text messages with sexual content (15%)

They are similarly conservative when it comes to:

• Taking Viagra (5%) — joint third-lowest ranking in Europe
• Dressing up in a costume during sex (4%) — second-lowest ranking in Europe
• Going to a strip club (7%) — second-lowest ranking in Europe (it also costs money )
• Watching pornography (43%) — second-lowest ranking in Europe

Prostitution and red-lights in the Netherlands

The Dutch attitude towards prostitution is famous internationally, and there are no better places to gain an insight into the phenomenon than the red-light districts in the Netherlands.

The legal structure of prostitution in the Netherlands is well-developed, with sex workers benefiting from legal protection and workers’ rights akin to other employees.

READ MORE | Why is there XXX on Amsterdam’s flag? Hint: it’s not what you think

In the late 1990s, before the official legalisation of prostitution happened, a survey showed that 73% of those asked agreed with legalisation, while 74% believed that it was an acceptable job.

Many people are surprised to find that most large cities in the Netherlands, such as Utrecht and the Hague, have their own “red light districts” for sex work.

In these places, there are strong police presences, dedicated and private car spots to do the deed and sexual health clinics provided for the workers. It’s all part of making sure sex work is not just legal but safe.

Sex work in the Netherlands: legal yet still problematic

That being said, cases of abuse do still happen. Also, prostitution isn’t completely decriminalised. Unregistered sex workers are illegal, and human trafficking is also of grave concern, as well as links with criminal organisations.

Women from foreign countries are enticed to come to the Netherlands on the promise of working in restaurants or other service jobs.

Many find themselves forced into sex work, usually threatened with violence. Estimates per year of victims of these situations range from 1,000 to 7,000.

This has led to a loss of support from the public in regard to prostitution. There are stronger pushes on the Dutch government to tighten controls, create licensing for brothels, as well as reduce the size of red-light districts.

Louise and Martine Fokkens, two famous twins in their 70s who worked as window girls, claim that the legalisation in 2000 has made life worse for sex workers. They claim that the heavy taxation only ends up benefiting the brothel owners, as well as increasing criminality.

The Dutch are quite active beyond just the red-light districts, and their education makes them both well-informed about sex, as well as private about it.

What are your experiences with sex in the Netherlands? Are the Dutch as good as they claim to be? Let us know in the comments below!